Book Review: The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty

I just finished reading The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty,  written by Anne Rice as A.N. Roquelaure. Conclusion: don't read it.

I picked up this book because it combines fairie tales and sex, two things I'm interested in. Unfortunately, it's basically a story of denigration, abuse, and rape. It shows a culture of BDSM, but at no point do either of the main subs, Prince Alexi or Beauty, give their consent. If anything, it shows how much pain and suffering they go through before they accept that it is their place to be so abused and that they love their captors for it. In the end, Beauty has an act of final rebellion by standing up for herself and is given the most severe punishment the court can think of. This is not the depiction of a healthy BDSM relationship. It is deranged and abusive. The sex scenes are hot, but knowing all along that not all parties are consenting makes it basically glorified rape. Look elsewhere for your erotica.

BJs and Beyond

Well, we posted the vagina post, but what about the penis? The anatomy is more straight forward than female anatomy, but it requires no less attention and respect. And as usual, OJST has done an amazing comic showing all the parts and how to pleasure them with your mouth. Check it out!

Here Kitty, Kitty, Kitty...

My original plan for this post was to post all about the vagina. I was going to find a great anatomical picture and put it under a link and talk about the different parts - what they do, what they're called, what to do with them...and then I found out that Oh Joy Sex Toy had already done that!

So here is a link to their guide to the vagina and also, helpfully, how to eat pussy. This is helpful both in instructing your partner and in pleasuring others. Check it out!

And just so you don't think I'm just giving you links all the time, here is the first of "The Vagina Monologues" in which many terms for the vagina are discussed.

I BET YOU'RE WORRIED.

I WAS WORRIED.

THAT'S WHY I BEGAN THIS PIECE.

I WAS WORRIED ABOUT VAGINAS.

, I WAS WORRIED WHAT WE THINK ABOUT VAGINAS

AND I WAS EVEN MORE WORRIED

THAT WE DON'T THINK ABOUT THEM.

I WAS WORRIED ABOUT MY OWN VAGINA.

IT NEEDED A CONTEXT, A COMMUNITY,

A CULTURE OF OTHER VAGINAS.

THERE IS SO MUCH DARKNESS AND SECRECY SURROUNDING THEM,

LIKE THE BERMUDA TRIANGLE,

NOBODY EVER REPORTS BACK FROM THERE.

IN THE FIRST PLACE,

IT'S NOT SO EASY TO EVEN FIND YOUR VAGINA.

WOMEN GO DAYS, WEEKS, MONTHS, WITHOUT LOOKING AT IT.

I INTERVIEWED A HIGH-POWERED BUSINESSWOMAN,

SHE TOLD ME SHE DIDN'T HAVE TIME.

LOOKING AT YOUR VAGINA SHE SAID, IS A FULL DAY'S WORK.

YOU'VE GOT TO GET DOWN THERE, ON YOUR BACK,

IN FRONT OF THE MIRROR, FULL-LENGTH PREFERRED.

YOU'VE GOT TO GET IN THE PERFECT POSITION,

, WITH THE PERFECT LIGHT

WHICH THEN BECOMES SHADOWE D BY THE ANGLE YOU'RE AT.

YOU'RE TWISTING YOUR HEAD UP, ARCHING YOUR BACK,

IT'S EXHAUSTING.

SHE WAS BUSY.

SHE DIDN'T HAVE TIME.

SO, I DECIDED TO TALK TO WOMEN ABOUT THEIR VAGINAS.

THEY BEGAN AS CASUAL VAGINA INTERVIEWS,

AND THEY TURNED INTO VAGINA MONOLOGUES.

I TALKED WITH OVER 200 WOMEN.

, I TALKED TO YOUNGER WOMEN, OLDER WOMEN, MARRIED WOMEN

LESBIANS, SINGLE WOMEN,

I TALKED TO COLLEGE PROFESSORS, CORPORATE PROFESSIONALS,

ACTORS, SEX WORKERS.

I TALKED TO AFRICAN-AMERICAN WOMEN,

ASIAN-AMERICAN WOMEN, HISPANIC WOMEN,

NATIVE-AMERICAN WOMEN, CAUCASIAN WOMEN,

JEWISH WOMEN.

AT FIRST, WOMEN WERE A LITTLE SHY,

A LITTLE RELUCTANT TO TALK.

BUT ONCE THEY GOT GOING, YOU COULDN'T STOP THEM.

WOMEN LOVE TO TALK ABOUT THEIR VAGINAS, THEY DO.

THEY REALLY DO.

MAINLY BECAUSE NO ONE'S EVER ASKED THEM BEFORE.

LET'S JUST START WITH THE WORD VAGINA.

VAGINA.

IT SOUNDS LIKE AN INFECTION AT BEST.

. MAYBE A MEDICAL INSTRUMENT

"HURRY, NURSE, BRING ME THE VAGINA."

VAGINA.

VAGINA.

IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW MANY TIMES YOU SAY THE WORD,

IT NEVER SOUNDS LIKE A WORD YOU WANT TO SAY.

IT'S A COMPLETELY RIDICULOUS,

TOTALLY UNSEXY WORD.

IF YOU USE IT DURING SEX, TRYING TO BE POLITICALLY CORRECT

YOU KILL THE ACT RIGHT THERE.

I'M WORRIED WHAT WE CALL IT AND DON'T CALL IT.

IN GREAT NECK, NEW YORK, THEY CALL IT A "PUSSYCAT".

A WOMAN TOLD ME THERE, HER MOTHER USED TO TELL HER,

"DON'T WEAR PANTIES, DEAR, UNDERNEATH YOUR PAJAMAS,

YOU NEED TO AIR OUT YOUR PUSSYCAT."

IN WESTCHESTER, THEY CALL IT A "POOKIE".

IN NEW JERSEY, A "TWAT".

THERE'S "POWDER BOX",

A "POOCHI", A "POOPI",

A "PEE-PEE", A "POOPALU",

A "POONINANA" AND A "PICHE".

THERE'S "TOADIE", "DEE-DEE",

"NISHI", "DIGNITY",

"COOCHIE SNORCHER",

"COOTER", "LABBE",

"GLADYS SIEGELMAN",

"VA",

"WEE-WEE", "WHORESPOT",

"NAPPY DUGOUT", "MONGO",

"MONKEY BOX", "PAJAMA",

"FANNYBOO", "MUSHMELLOW",

"GHOULIE", "POSSIBLE",

"TAMALE", "TOTTITA", "CONNIE",

A "MIMI" IN MIAMI,

A "SPLIT KNISH" IN PHILADELPHIA.

AND A "SCHMENDE" IN THE BRONX.

I AM WORRIED ABOUT VAGINAS.

Webcomic: Oh Joy Sex Toy by Erica Mohn and Matthew Nolan

I can't say enough good things about Oh Joy Sex Toy, written and illustrated by Erica Mohn and Matthew Nolan. Basically, once a week they review a new sex toy. They talk about the pros and cons, they illustrate its use, they say if they recommend it. The drawings are friendly and the script is clear. Basically, they do what I do, only better and with pictures. Check them out!*

*Check them out, but don't forget about me. They're awesome, but I'm pretty awesome too. :)

Pregnancy!

I just started reading an amazing webcomic that I'll shortly talk about called Oh Joy Sex Toy. They have a great post on pregnancy - exactly how it works and what happens in layman's terms and with great illustrations. NSFW and very educational. Check it out!

Burlesque Club! SAX

I don't tend to frequent strip clubs. I've been to a regular strip club before as well as to Thunder from Down Under (a male stripping organization) and I find them pretty boring on the whole. Plus, I have a dance background, so I tend to be super critical of the routines. This could have been more interesting or this was off time, blah blah. Super critical. So I tend to stay away from them.

For my bachelorette party a few months ago, I wanted to do something kind of sexy and fun, but not a strip club. And I found SAX. SAX is a burlesque club located in Washington, DC. They feature dinner and drinks accompanied by burlesque acts as well as aerial performers (also sexy). Clothes stay on, so it's a PG-13 kind of show, but it's a lot of fun. I'm actually forming a group of people to go back there for my birthday in a couple weeks.

If you're looking for a way to enjoy a sexy show, but you don't want the basic "I just took my shirt off, so be proud of me" or the "glittery g-strings are the way to go" act, I encourage you to look up burlesque shows in your area.  Another term is "cabaret." They're racy, they're a little naughty, but you still feel like a lady/gentleman and not a skeeze. Check it out!

The one complaint I have about it is that, while there is no cover charge, the food and drinks are outrageously priced. I couldn't make it a weekly affair, but for special occasions, sure, why not?  They charge $35 for dinner on weeknights and $50 for weekends (not counting drinks). But you can also stay as long as you want, so it's not such a bad deal. And they have specials for groups. Still, worth checking out.

I'd recommend going to a cabaret or burlesque club for a bachelor/ette party, for a girls'/boys' night out, for a birthday, for an anniversary, for Valentine's Day, or for any other event where you'd like to appreciate the human body. You can google to find events in your area. It's worth the search.

Condom Review

In addition to my recent toy purchases, I found myself needing to refill the condom coffers. I decided to try something new and to order the New Trojan Twisted Pleasure Condom from Good Vibrations. Here are my thoughts on it.

-It's not a particularly thin or thick condom. It's just a latex condom.
-It has a spiral ribbing on the head both inside and outside, which is supposed to provide stimulation for both partners. For myself, I could barely feel it.
-It's got a good amount of lubrication.
-Most interestingly, it has a bulbous shape which really conforms to the shape of the penis. It probably fits the penis best out of any condom I've seen.

I have yet to debrief X on what he thinks about it. If it were just up to me, I'd finish this batch and then go back to my usual thin, studded condoms. But I bought ten of them and they're not bad. They're average. So I'll go though them and see if they grow on me. Worse comes to worst, I can use them for anal.