I don't tend to frequent strip clubs. I've been to a regular strip club before as well as to Thunder from Down Under (a male stripping organization) and I find them pretty boring on the whole. Plus, I have a dance background, so I tend to be super critical of the routines. This could have been more interesting or this was off time, blah blah. Super critical. So I tend to stay away from them.
For my bachelorette party a few months ago, I wanted to do something kind of sexy and fun, but not a strip club. And I found SAX. SAX is a burlesque club located in Washington, DC. They feature dinner and drinks accompanied by burlesque acts as well as aerial performers (also sexy). Clothes stay on, so it's a PG-13 kind of show, but it's a lot of fun. I'm actually forming a group of people to go back there for my birthday in a couple weeks.
If you're looking for a way to enjoy a sexy show, but you don't want the basic "I just took my shirt off, so be proud of me" or the "glittery g-strings are the way to go" act, I encourage you to look up burlesque shows in your area. Another term is "cabaret." They're racy, they're a little naughty, but you still feel like a lady/gentleman and not a skeeze. Check it out!
The one complaint I have about it is that, while there is no cover charge, the food and drinks are outrageously priced. I couldn't make it a weekly affair, but for special occasions, sure, why not? They charge $35 for dinner on weeknights and $50 for weekends (not counting drinks). But you can also stay as long as you want, so it's not such a bad deal. And they have specials for groups. Still, worth checking out.
I'd recommend going to a cabaret or burlesque club for a bachelor/ette party, for a girls'/boys' night out, for a birthday, for an anniversary, for Valentine's Day, or for any other event where you'd like to appreciate the human body. You can google to find events in your area. It's worth the search.
Monday, January 11, 2016
Friday, January 8, 2016
Condom Review
In addition to my recent toy purchases, I found myself needing to refill the condom coffers. I decided to try something new and to order the New Trojan Twisted Pleasure Condom from Good Vibrations. Here are my thoughts on it.
-It's not a particularly thin or thick condom. It's just a latex condom.
-It has a spiral ribbing on the head both inside and outside, which is supposed to provide stimulation for both partners. For myself, I could barely feel it.
-It's got a good amount of lubrication.
-Most interestingly, it has a bulbous shape which really conforms to the shape of the penis. It probably fits the penis best out of any condom I've seen.
I have yet to debrief X on what he thinks about it. If it were just up to me, I'd finish this batch and then go back to my usual thin, studded condoms. But I bought ten of them and they're not bad. They're average. So I'll go though them and see if they grow on me. Worse comes to worst, I can use them for anal.
-It's not a particularly thin or thick condom. It's just a latex condom.
-It has a spiral ribbing on the head both inside and outside, which is supposed to provide stimulation for both partners. For myself, I could barely feel it.
-It's got a good amount of lubrication.
-Most interestingly, it has a bulbous shape which really conforms to the shape of the penis. It probably fits the penis best out of any condom I've seen.
I have yet to debrief X on what he thinks about it. If it were just up to me, I'd finish this batch and then go back to my usual thin, studded condoms. But I bought ten of them and they're not bad. They're average. So I'll go though them and see if they grow on me. Worse comes to worst, I can use them for anal.
Tuesday, January 5, 2016
New Toy!
My dildo collection is...inadequate. I have a giant Rabbit which does all kinds of neat tricks, but it's a little too big for me. I have to be really riled up to want it. I also have a much smaller one that just vibrates, but it's old and doesn't really vibrate anymore. It's still good for basic insertion, but it doesn't really do any tricks. So I thought it was time to do some shopping.
I ended up getting the Dotted Delight Silicone Dildo in Purple from Good Vibrations. Interesting things about it:
1. It is pure silicone, with no hard core at all, meaning it's incredibly flexible and molds to my natural internal curves. (True fact: during coitus, a man's penis bends at a 130 degree angle inside the woman's body. This is known as the "boomerang effect.") It feels pretty natural because of that.
2. It is a "just right" size - bigger than my small (non-vibrating) dildo, smaller than the giant Rabbit.
3. It actually vibrates from two separate sites: there is one vibrating bullet that goes into the nubs meant to stimulate the clitoris, then another bullet that inserts into the shaft to vibrate the actual dildo. This means you get a lot of vibration around the vaginal opening, but not a lot for the head. What this translates to is lots of clitoral stimulation, but almost no g-spot.
4. It picks up lint and debris like you wouldn't believe. Straight out of the box, I had to rinse it off. Not attractive.
5. Being silicone, it responds to water temperature. If you want it warmer, you run it under hot water. If you want it chilly, you can do the same with cold water. Easy peasy.
Conclusions: while I appreciate the flexibility of the silicone, I think I do prefer something with a core to give it a little more rigidity. Also, I want something that will give me g-spot stimulation as well as clitoral. I look at this toy as a learning experience. I now know more of what I want out of a dildo and I can search for it.
If you want something to give you lots of clitoral stimulation, this is a great toy for you. If you're more a g-spot girl (like me), you may want to look elsewhere.
I ended up getting the Dotted Delight Silicone Dildo in Purple from Good Vibrations. Interesting things about it:
1. It is pure silicone, with no hard core at all, meaning it's incredibly flexible and molds to my natural internal curves. (True fact: during coitus, a man's penis bends at a 130 degree angle inside the woman's body. This is known as the "boomerang effect.") It feels pretty natural because of that.
2. It is a "just right" size - bigger than my small (non-vibrating) dildo, smaller than the giant Rabbit.
3. It actually vibrates from two separate sites: there is one vibrating bullet that goes into the nubs meant to stimulate the clitoris, then another bullet that inserts into the shaft to vibrate the actual dildo. This means you get a lot of vibration around the vaginal opening, but not a lot for the head. What this translates to is lots of clitoral stimulation, but almost no g-spot.
4. It picks up lint and debris like you wouldn't believe. Straight out of the box, I had to rinse it off. Not attractive.
5. Being silicone, it responds to water temperature. If you want it warmer, you run it under hot water. If you want it chilly, you can do the same with cold water. Easy peasy.
Conclusions: while I appreciate the flexibility of the silicone, I think I do prefer something with a core to give it a little more rigidity. Also, I want something that will give me g-spot stimulation as well as clitoral. I look at this toy as a learning experience. I now know more of what I want out of a dildo and I can search for it.
If you want something to give you lots of clitoral stimulation, this is a great toy for you. If you're more a g-spot girl (like me), you may want to look elsewhere.
Sunday, January 3, 2016
Check out our other pages!
Sure, you read the blog, but have you checked out the pages? I have two pages other than the main blog that you should check out: Books and Websites. Both are used for reviews of all different types of reading material and resources. I'm always updating them with new information, so check them out.
Also, if you have a book or a website you think I should check out and review, send it over to me and I'll be happy to take a look at it!
Also, if you have a book or a website you think I should check out and review, send it over to me and I'll be happy to take a look at it!
Saturday, January 2, 2016
Webcomic: Chester 5000 by Jess Fink
Offbeat Home just put out a list of five awesome sexy webcomics. I'm making it my goal to read through them and review them for you dear readers. Our first webcomic is Chester 5000 by Jess Fink. It's a non-speaking woman-positive webcomic set in the Victorian era featuring sex-robots. I suppose you could technically call it steampunk because it has advanced technology in the Victorian era, but it's not really focused around that and there are no dirigibles. It's just lots of hot sex. With robots.
One interesting thing is that, except for a humorous side story, there's no dialogue. There are (written) sound effects, but no dialogue, but Fink still tells a good story. Well done, Fink.
Another thing to note is that it doesn't update very often and the strips are short, so if you do want to include this in your routine reading, check it every week or two and not daily.
I'd definitely recommend this webcomic. It's cute, it's sweet, it's hot, it has robots, corsets, and tea time. How can that be bad?
One interesting thing is that, except for a humorous side story, there's no dialogue. There are (written) sound effects, but no dialogue, but Fink still tells a good story. Well done, Fink.
Another thing to note is that it doesn't update very often and the strips are short, so if you do want to include this in your routine reading, check it every week or two and not daily.
I'd definitely recommend this webcomic. It's cute, it's sweet, it's hot, it has robots, corsets, and tea time. How can that be bad?
Happy Holidays!
I'm back! I'm back! No one go away, I'm back!
Where did I go? For Christmas time, we went up to X's family in NY and CT. There was a lot of driving and a lot of awkwardness. Then for New Years, we went over to our friends' place and stayed up late playing games, which was awesome. But now I'm back and we'll resume our regular schedule of updating 1-3 times a week.
We're back! And I missed you.
Where did I go? For Christmas time, we went up to X's family in NY and CT. There was a lot of driving and a lot of awkwardness. Then for New Years, we went over to our friends' place and stayed up late playing games, which was awesome. But now I'm back and we'll resume our regular schedule of updating 1-3 times a week.
We're back! And I missed you.
Saturday, December 19, 2015
Coming and Going
True Fact: The Japanese refer to ejaculation as "going" and not "coming," which makes more sense when you think about it. Good for the Japanese.
Today we delve a little into the BDSM lifestyle and we talk about coming...or not coming.
When I was with vanilla men, I heard about "blue balls" all the time, the idea that a man can actually experience pain if he gets aroused and doesn't get to come. I've polled men I've been with and it's true that it can be uncomfortable, but that sensation goes away. Moral: if you don't feel comfortable finishing your partner, for any reason, you don't have to. He's a big boy - he can finish himself. But I digress.
With my vanilla male partners, I'd always finish them off. We'd have fun but things were over pretty much whenever they finished. Then it was cuddle time or nap time or movie time or video game time (yes, G played video games after sex) or whatever time. What X had to explain to me is that as a sub, sometimes there's an exquisite torture in not coming that he enjoys. This was completely counter to everything I'd been taught. Wasn't my worth valued by how great his ejaculation was? Wasn't I only a good partner if I satisfied my man?
What X had to explain to me is that, as a sub, he likes surrendering control. That includes control of his orgasm. It's up to me as a dom to let him come or not, totally depending on my mood. There are some advantages to not letting him finish:
1. It's easier. You're just done when you say you're done.
2. He's more likely to get aroused later, if you want to play more (this can be hours after or days after)
3. It's a way of establishing long term control. Get him riled up, satisfy yourself, then don't let him orgasm again and again. It's a torture, but X likes that.
Let's say you've decided to not give him an orgasm. You want him to wait. How do you stop him from just finishing himself?
-Tie him up
-Male chastity devices.
What are male chastity devices, you say? Essentially, they're penis cages. They can be made out of metal or plastic. Typically, a man inserts his penis into one when he's flaccid and it constricts his growth, making it painful for him to get an erection. This doesn't stop him from actually getting the erection, but it causes pressure and acts as a discomfort - a mini torture device. If you want to see examples of male chastity devices, look here (NSFW).
All chastity devices lock with a key. In order to not lose your key, you can do a couple different things. You can keep it in a special box. The dom can wear it around her neck. You can put it in a safe. Just so long as it's in a safe, easily accessible, easily memorable place, you can pretty much keep it anywhere.
How do X and I use his cage? In a couple different ways. If he's feeling frisky and I'm not around, he'll often put it on so he can get the feeling of being constricted and being tied up without me being there. It keeps him aroused and in the mood for when I do come around.
His cage also helps him feel frisky for extended periods of time - hours to even days. Cages are designed to be worn for long periods of time - including days and nights. Men can urinate in cages. Cages are waterproof. With some cages, there can be some rubbing that can get uncomfortable, but you're not going to know which cages will rub until you (a) read a bunch of reviews or (b) try one (everyone is shaped differently and each cage will fit a little differently).
When X travels to Seattle for work, he and I like to keep it fun and flirty while he's away. It's a way for us to stay connected and in sync while he's across the country. Usually, he brings his cage with him and locks up when he gets to the hotel. He brings with a tiny travel safe, locks the key inside, and emails me the combination (he does this in a way so that he himself doesn't know what the combination is. Only I do). And like that, he's my long distance slave for as long as I want him trapped. Sometimes I let him out after a day. Sometimes I keep him locked up until he has to get on a plane to come home (we have an agreement that I will always let him out for the flights because his cage is metal and I don't want him to have a hard time getting through security). He loves the suspense of not knowing when he'll get to come and knowing he is still under my control even though he's far away.
And in case you were wondering, you can't see the cage under his clothes. He looks totally normal. It's just our little secret.
Cages can be kind of expensive for good ones (X's was custom sized and made in Germany - I don't have a link, sorry), so talk to your partner before investing in one. Try just tying him up and making him calm down, not letting him orgasm, and see if he likes it or if he gets cranky at you.
Note: If you're going to try this on your partner, talk to him and tell him what you're doing. Say something like "We're going to fool around now and you're going to satisfy me, but I'm not going to let you come because I'm in control. You're just my slave." Give him a warning that it's coming. Don't just say "And, we're done! Thanks, that was fun. 'Family Guy'?" Consider letting him beg (if he's not gagged). You might find the begging really hot and cave in. Or it may make you feel more empowered and you'll hold out. It's up to you and your partner to find something that works. But try not letting him orgasm. He may really like it.
Other Note: there are such things as female chastity devices as well, usually called belts. They're not recommended for long term usage because you can't poop while wearing one. An example is here (NSFW). They also tend to be a little bulky and show under women's clingy clothes.
Today we delve a little into the BDSM lifestyle and we talk about coming...or not coming.
When I was with vanilla men, I heard about "blue balls" all the time, the idea that a man can actually experience pain if he gets aroused and doesn't get to come. I've polled men I've been with and it's true that it can be uncomfortable, but that sensation goes away. Moral: if you don't feel comfortable finishing your partner, for any reason, you don't have to. He's a big boy - he can finish himself. But I digress.
With my vanilla male partners, I'd always finish them off. We'd have fun but things were over pretty much whenever they finished. Then it was cuddle time or nap time or movie time or video game time (yes, G played video games after sex) or whatever time. What X had to explain to me is that as a sub, sometimes there's an exquisite torture in not coming that he enjoys. This was completely counter to everything I'd been taught. Wasn't my worth valued by how great his ejaculation was? Wasn't I only a good partner if I satisfied my man?
What X had to explain to me is that, as a sub, he likes surrendering control. That includes control of his orgasm. It's up to me as a dom to let him come or not, totally depending on my mood. There are some advantages to not letting him finish:
1. It's easier. You're just done when you say you're done.
2. He's more likely to get aroused later, if you want to play more (this can be hours after or days after)
3. It's a way of establishing long term control. Get him riled up, satisfy yourself, then don't let him orgasm again and again. It's a torture, but X likes that.
Let's say you've decided to not give him an orgasm. You want him to wait. How do you stop him from just finishing himself?
-Tie him up
-Male chastity devices.
What are male chastity devices, you say? Essentially, they're penis cages. They can be made out of metal or plastic. Typically, a man inserts his penis into one when he's flaccid and it constricts his growth, making it painful for him to get an erection. This doesn't stop him from actually getting the erection, but it causes pressure and acts as a discomfort - a mini torture device. If you want to see examples of male chastity devices, look here (NSFW).
All chastity devices lock with a key. In order to not lose your key, you can do a couple different things. You can keep it in a special box. The dom can wear it around her neck. You can put it in a safe. Just so long as it's in a safe, easily accessible, easily memorable place, you can pretty much keep it anywhere.
How do X and I use his cage? In a couple different ways. If he's feeling frisky and I'm not around, he'll often put it on so he can get the feeling of being constricted and being tied up without me being there. It keeps him aroused and in the mood for when I do come around.
His cage also helps him feel frisky for extended periods of time - hours to even days. Cages are designed to be worn for long periods of time - including days and nights. Men can urinate in cages. Cages are waterproof. With some cages, there can be some rubbing that can get uncomfortable, but you're not going to know which cages will rub until you (a) read a bunch of reviews or (b) try one (everyone is shaped differently and each cage will fit a little differently).
When X travels to Seattle for work, he and I like to keep it fun and flirty while he's away. It's a way for us to stay connected and in sync while he's across the country. Usually, he brings his cage with him and locks up when he gets to the hotel. He brings with a tiny travel safe, locks the key inside, and emails me the combination (he does this in a way so that he himself doesn't know what the combination is. Only I do). And like that, he's my long distance slave for as long as I want him trapped. Sometimes I let him out after a day. Sometimes I keep him locked up until he has to get on a plane to come home (we have an agreement that I will always let him out for the flights because his cage is metal and I don't want him to have a hard time getting through security). He loves the suspense of not knowing when he'll get to come and knowing he is still under my control even though he's far away.
And in case you were wondering, you can't see the cage under his clothes. He looks totally normal. It's just our little secret.
Cages can be kind of expensive for good ones (X's was custom sized and made in Germany - I don't have a link, sorry), so talk to your partner before investing in one. Try just tying him up and making him calm down, not letting him orgasm, and see if he likes it or if he gets cranky at you.
Note: If you're going to try this on your partner, talk to him and tell him what you're doing. Say something like "We're going to fool around now and you're going to satisfy me, but I'm not going to let you come because I'm in control. You're just my slave." Give him a warning that it's coming. Don't just say "And, we're done! Thanks, that was fun. 'Family Guy'?" Consider letting him beg (if he's not gagged). You might find the begging really hot and cave in. Or it may make you feel more empowered and you'll hold out. It's up to you and your partner to find something that works. But try not letting him orgasm. He may really like it.
Other Note: there are such things as female chastity devices as well, usually called belts. They're not recommended for long term usage because you can't poop while wearing one. An example is here (NSFW). They also tend to be a little bulky and show under women's clingy clothes.
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