There is a stereotype that all men are driven wild by lingerie. They love red, pink, and black, satin and lace. They love little school girl outfits and tiny Santa skirts during the holidays. Not all men are like this. Some are, yes, and some aren't. Outfits and lingerie can be a great way to set the tone of a session or to add a little bit of spice. If you're doing any role playing, it can definitely help. It also doesn't have to be a huge investment. Playing the stern school marm? Put your hair in a bun with a pencil and bring a ruler. That's what, three bucks for the pencil and the ruler? Playing the cheerleader? Get some knee-high socks and wear a crop top (which you can make with a white tee shirt and a pair of scissors). You may choose to go all out in your outfits, and that's fine, but if you're broke or lazy, you can also just suggest it. You and your partner are already using your imagination when creating a scenario. You can extend that imagination a little further into the outfits, too.
But what about standard lingerie? My boyfriend before X loved it. I'd get satin babydolls for him and he just went wild. X doesn't give a hoot about slips and lace. Like, at all. Does nothing for him. He likes me naked. But if I'm going to dress up, he likes black, fishnet, and leather. (classic sub). So I have a box of neglected lingerie. If I meet him naked in bed, he likes that the best. When you're learning what a partner wants, feel free to just ask what they like! If your partner is shy or not very creative, give him options. Say "Would you rather see me in a black corset or a red teddy?" "Which do you like better, satin or leather?" Help guide him to a place of dress-up. Just make sure that whatever you propose for your partner's options is something you're actually willing to wear. For example, I will never wear a school girl outfit because I was a Catholic school girl for ten years and I just don't get it. I mean, if X pleaded, I'd consider it, but I don't find it sexy in the slightest. (Fortunately, neither does he.)
But there's another side to this, a side which deserves recognition. When we put on outfits of any kind, we change our behavior in subtle ways. That's part of why Halloween is so popular - we like to dress up and put on personas. It's also why we have different dress codes for work and church versus casual clothes. We act more professional when we're wearing more professional clothes. It's true. A study was once done in which three groups of people took an intelligence test. These groups of people were alike in all ways except that one group wore jeans and tee shirts, one group wore artists' smocks, and one group wore doctors' lab coats. The "doctors" scored way higher on the intelligence test. We act differently depending on what we're wearing.
The fact is that while X doesn't find lace and satin sexy, I DO. And my opinion matters, too. It helps me get in the mood when I dress up a little bit for him. Sometimes that just means wearing matching lacy undies under my jeans and sweaters; when I take off the sweater, I know I look good and that matters to me. So if there's something you want to wear because it makes you feel sexy, be it a catsuit, knee high boots, or a plumber's overalls, it's okay to wear it to satisfy your own needs. Pay attention to your needs. We all want to satisfy our partners, but we also need to make ourselves satisfied, and that starts with getting in the right mood. That starts with feeling sexy. And that can mean sexy clothes.
Also, talk to your partner about what "casual" (not lingerie or role play outfits) clothes your partner likes. X likes me in casual dresses, but he also just loves jeans and tee shirts (seriously, how lucky am I?) That being said, he also appreciates a knee-high leather boot. I'm not willing to wear a corset on a day-to-day basis, but I am willing to change up my footwear for him, so just for him, I just got a new pair of pleather boots. We're going out for dinner on Friday and I fully intend to wear them for him. They hint that I'm a sexual person to my lover without screaming to the world "WE HAVE INTERCOURSE."
You can also find out what scents or hairstyles your partner likes. This can backfire though. For example, X loves bangs, the kind that cut straight across the forehead. Think Mia from Pulp Fiction. I have curly hair; there is no way my hair would ever do that. So I just have to accept that I can never pull off that look for him. (Fortunately, he also loves brunettes and I have very dark brown hair, so I win on that front.)
Just don't forget in all your exploring the world of dress-up that it's also important to do and wear what makes you feel sexy. Your ideas matter too. I have a tattoo on my foot and I feel incredibly sexy when I show it. Does anyone really pay that much attention to my feet? Probably not. But I notice it and that's enough for me. Find hairstyles or scents that make you feel sexy. Paint your nails bright red. Or black. Or whatever color you like. Try your hair in different styles - even parting it on the other side can make a difference. Play! Have fun! Experiment! Most of all, be you. Remember, that's who your partner finds sexy above all else: you. So be you.
Tuesday, November 10, 2015
Tuesday, November 3, 2015
Baby Got Back(door)
Anal play. Let's talk about it. In the end, it's no more gross than sex (which is actually pretty gross, but is still awesome).
Basically, there are two ways to pleasure an anus: insertables or mouth. Insertables can be fingers, penises, toys, vibrators, beads, or anything else you decide to stick up there. Mouth is just that: kissing, licking, nibbling, or nuzzling. I have never actually used my mouth on someone's anus because I find that gross, even if the person just showered, I still have a hard time getting over the stigma. Plus, I wonder how awkward it is trying to get my face between two butt cheeks. If anyone out there has experience with this, please weigh in on the effect, techniques, pros and cons, etc.
But I have used insertables, both on myself and on a partner, so we're going to talk about that. Yes, I've had butt sex. And I have to say, it's different than vaginal sex, but it is still pleasurable. I like it when I'm feeling a bit rougher just because you can go to town with very little "damage" done. It is easier, granted, with someone who has a skinnier penis. Length isn't really a component, but girth definitely is. Just something to think about.
Positions that work well for anal sex are doggy-style (naturally), but also woman-on-top. As a matter of fact, woman-on-top may be better for your first time because you can control the speed and depth involved and be a little more in control of what is going on.
As for using insertables on a partner, I've tried using fingers on a couple different partners. And it's hot. There's something incredibly sexy about penetrating a partner and feeling the motions of your body echoing in theirs. It's also intimate as well - you're literally going inside someone, so respect that power.
Technique for fingers:
1. Start with just one finger and insert it slowly. When X and I first start anal play, I can only get my finger in to about the first knuckle. And that's okay! You cannot rush anal unless you want to traumatize your partner. Eventually, I can get my whole finger in, but it takes moving a little, resting so he can get used to the sensation, and then moving a little more. Take your time.
2. Movement is a good sensation. Try wiggling your finger and pulsing deeper. In and out motion doesn't work as well because the muscles react very fast and you're basically snapping them back into place every time you retract and forcing them apart again every time you go deeper. It's better just to find a good location and stay that deep until you're done.
3. Once your partner is used to one finger, you can remove it and try again with two. I haven't done more than two, but even two seems to be pushing it with my partners.
4. When you're withdrawing, GO SLOWLY. Again, when you withdraw, the muscles snap back into place. Do that too quickly and it will hurt your partner.
Grossed out, but intrigued by anal sex? Condoms are your friend! Even if you're fluid-bonded to your partner, it may be a good idea; even if you're fooling around in the shower, there may be a little bit of debris left on the insertable after use. You could clean the insertable off right away with soap and water, or you could just use a condom on the insertable and throw it away afterwards. X and I use expired condoms for my fingers. What else are we going to use them for? If you're planning to alternate between vaginal and anal sex, remember: you can go from vaginal to anal, but never the other way around. If you're planning to go from anal to vaginal, you need to clean the insertable or get a fresh condom. Just like cleaning yourself after using the toilet, front to back is safe, but never back to front.
If you want to try anal play, but you're not quite sure how to get into it, first broach the idea with your partner while both of you are of sound mind....then actually try it out (once you have sober permission) when you're a bit drunk. Why? (A) Because your inhibitions are a little lowered and it's easier to try something new. (B) Because alcohol relaxes your muscles and will make it easier to get something in. Another good idea is to try it during a co-shower - it's much easier to clean up after (yay soap and water!).
If you're not sure if you want your partner to try anal play on you, definitely play with yourself first to get an idea. First get yourself warmed up with general masturbation to get yourself in the mood. Then once you're feeling frisky, try it out. Try reaching from both between your legs and behind yourself to see what works best for you. Try it lying on your front and on your back. Remember motion is pleasurable, so wiggle your fingers and give it a shot.
There are cremes out there that will relax or numb anal muscles for you. If you want to try them, remember, apply it to the anus and give it a few minutes to sink in. After that, feel free to go to town with insertables, but don't ever use your mouth after you've used one of these cremes or you could end up with numb lips or tongue. Plus, they usually taste gross.
Have fun!
(Side note: when I was in college, I took a class called Human Sexuality. One of our assignments was to read a book on sexuality, any part of it, and write a review. At the time, I'd never done anything with anal, but I was intrigued by it, so I read a book on anal play. The intro lauded the anus, glorified the anus as a neglected sex organ. It ended the intro by proudly exclaiming "Love your anus!" It's hokey, but it's true. We love the cock and it both ejaculates and urinates. The anus defecates, but just like the penis, it can also be a playtime place. Love your anus!)
Basically, there are two ways to pleasure an anus: insertables or mouth. Insertables can be fingers, penises, toys, vibrators, beads, or anything else you decide to stick up there. Mouth is just that: kissing, licking, nibbling, or nuzzling. I have never actually used my mouth on someone's anus because I find that gross, even if the person just showered, I still have a hard time getting over the stigma. Plus, I wonder how awkward it is trying to get my face between two butt cheeks. If anyone out there has experience with this, please weigh in on the effect, techniques, pros and cons, etc.
But I have used insertables, both on myself and on a partner, so we're going to talk about that. Yes, I've had butt sex. And I have to say, it's different than vaginal sex, but it is still pleasurable. I like it when I'm feeling a bit rougher just because you can go to town with very little "damage" done. It is easier, granted, with someone who has a skinnier penis. Length isn't really a component, but girth definitely is. Just something to think about.
Positions that work well for anal sex are doggy-style (naturally), but also woman-on-top. As a matter of fact, woman-on-top may be better for your first time because you can control the speed and depth involved and be a little more in control of what is going on.
As for using insertables on a partner, I've tried using fingers on a couple different partners. And it's hot. There's something incredibly sexy about penetrating a partner and feeling the motions of your body echoing in theirs. It's also intimate as well - you're literally going inside someone, so respect that power.
Technique for fingers:
1. Start with just one finger and insert it slowly. When X and I first start anal play, I can only get my finger in to about the first knuckle. And that's okay! You cannot rush anal unless you want to traumatize your partner. Eventually, I can get my whole finger in, but it takes moving a little, resting so he can get used to the sensation, and then moving a little more. Take your time.
2. Movement is a good sensation. Try wiggling your finger and pulsing deeper. In and out motion doesn't work as well because the muscles react very fast and you're basically snapping them back into place every time you retract and forcing them apart again every time you go deeper. It's better just to find a good location and stay that deep until you're done.
3. Once your partner is used to one finger, you can remove it and try again with two. I haven't done more than two, but even two seems to be pushing it with my partners.
4. When you're withdrawing, GO SLOWLY. Again, when you withdraw, the muscles snap back into place. Do that too quickly and it will hurt your partner.
Grossed out, but intrigued by anal sex? Condoms are your friend! Even if you're fluid-bonded to your partner, it may be a good idea; even if you're fooling around in the shower, there may be a little bit of debris left on the insertable after use. You could clean the insertable off right away with soap and water, or you could just use a condom on the insertable and throw it away afterwards. X and I use expired condoms for my fingers. What else are we going to use them for? If you're planning to alternate between vaginal and anal sex, remember: you can go from vaginal to anal, but never the other way around. If you're planning to go from anal to vaginal, you need to clean the insertable or get a fresh condom. Just like cleaning yourself after using the toilet, front to back is safe, but never back to front.
If you want to try anal play, but you're not quite sure how to get into it, first broach the idea with your partner while both of you are of sound mind....then actually try it out (once you have sober permission) when you're a bit drunk. Why? (A) Because your inhibitions are a little lowered and it's easier to try something new. (B) Because alcohol relaxes your muscles and will make it easier to get something in. Another good idea is to try it during a co-shower - it's much easier to clean up after (yay soap and water!).
If you're not sure if you want your partner to try anal play on you, definitely play with yourself first to get an idea. First get yourself warmed up with general masturbation to get yourself in the mood. Then once you're feeling frisky, try it out. Try reaching from both between your legs and behind yourself to see what works best for you. Try it lying on your front and on your back. Remember motion is pleasurable, so wiggle your fingers and give it a shot.
There are cremes out there that will relax or numb anal muscles for you. If you want to try them, remember, apply it to the anus and give it a few minutes to sink in. After that, feel free to go to town with insertables, but don't ever use your mouth after you've used one of these cremes or you could end up with numb lips or tongue. Plus, they usually taste gross.
Have fun!
(Side note: when I was in college, I took a class called Human Sexuality. One of our assignments was to read a book on sexuality, any part of it, and write a review. At the time, I'd never done anything with anal, but I was intrigued by it, so I read a book on anal play. The intro lauded the anus, glorified the anus as a neglected sex organ. It ended the intro by proudly exclaiming "Love your anus!" It's hokey, but it's true. We love the cock and it both ejaculates and urinates. The anus defecates, but just like the penis, it can also be a playtime place. Love your anus!)
Sunday, October 25, 2015
Long Distance - How to Make it Work
Part of X's very successful career is travel - he's gone for two weeks, then home for two weeks, then away for two weeks, and repeat. We've been doing this for about seven months now. I won't lie - it's hard. I mean, it's nice to watch all the shows I like to watch that he doesn't and to eat all the food I want that he doesn't like. But I miss my lover in the emotional and the physical ways. When you love someone, they infiltrate your life, like a scent. They follow you wherever you go and you miss it when they're gone.
So how do you keep the romance alive while your partner is gone?
1. Schedule time to talk. For us, this is a little tricky because he travels to the west coast, a three hour time difference for us. By the time he gets home from work, it's time for me to go to bed. But on the weekends, we connect and we chat over gchat for hours. Tell each other about the little things - where you went to eat last night, what book you're reading, what you're watching on TV and what you think of it. And don't be afraid to get a little sexy. I'm not saying you have to get into phone/chat sex (not everyone is into that). But remind your partner of something he did that was really hot just to remind him that you're thinking of him in that way.
2. Do online shopping together. Through the power of the internet, you can be looking at the same things at the same time. It's magic! So look around for toys or outfits you think your partner would like and email them to him. Say "I was thinking I could order this for when you get back. What do you think?" He'll love that you're thinking of him that way and will definitely want to give helpful input.
3. Email each other on the schedule that works for you. For some people, this is a few times a day. For some people, it's once every few days. But even a quick "I did your laundry and I was thinking of you. Hope you're having a good day." will make your partner smile.
Finally, for those of you who are working with a long-distance loved one, here are a few things to do to pass the time better:
1. Be selfish. While X is gone, I binge watch shows he hates. I order the pizza he doesn't like. I stay up later than he likes and I sleep in later than he can. I indulge in Me Time because I can. If you think of ways to treat yourself, it isn't as bad.
2. Schedule time to see people. You have friends. Go out and see them. Ask them to come over. If you have friends who aren't in common with your love one's, so much the better. For example, this week, I'm having a big knitting night, where friends are coming over for dinner and knitting together. It's the kind of thing X would get out of the way of. But he's not here. So girls night abounds!
3. Schedule activities. It is far too easy to let inertia take control of you and to sit at home, watching TV, all night, every night, while your loved one is gone. Find activities. Go out to dinner with friends. Go to a movie. Go play on a playground. Go visit the library and read in public. Go to Starbucks and people watch. Find a club of people who like the same things you do and try it out. For me, I'm committing to going to the gym for a couple hours twice a week. It'll keep me active and working towards my health goals while keeping me distracted from my loneliness. It's a win-win!
4. Do something to surprise him when he gets back. For me, that's cleaning. Our house is a pit. But he loves to come home to a clean room. Note I said a clean "room" and not a clean "house." Cleaning a whole house is daunting, but even cleaning just one room can make a huge difference. If you don't live with your loved one, there are still things you can do. Make him cookies. Knit him a hat. Buy him a new movie. And then you can tease him with an "I have a surprise for you" that he can look forward to the whole time he's gone.
And remember, it's okay to be sad that your loved one is away from you. You love him. It makes sense that you miss him. But at least for X, he's away trying to do a job. He doesn't need me pining over him constantly and distracting him from the job he's trying to do. I tell him I miss him in an email once a day or so, then I get on with my life. If I feel the need to dither on, I talk to a friend or a journal. But keep the crazy off of your partner. Remember, it's hard for him too. Make it a little easier by staying upbeat and positive for him so he knows what a joy he's coming back to.
So how do you keep the romance alive while your partner is gone?
1. Schedule time to talk. For us, this is a little tricky because he travels to the west coast, a three hour time difference for us. By the time he gets home from work, it's time for me to go to bed. But on the weekends, we connect and we chat over gchat for hours. Tell each other about the little things - where you went to eat last night, what book you're reading, what you're watching on TV and what you think of it. And don't be afraid to get a little sexy. I'm not saying you have to get into phone/chat sex (not everyone is into that). But remind your partner of something he did that was really hot just to remind him that you're thinking of him in that way.
2. Do online shopping together. Through the power of the internet, you can be looking at the same things at the same time. It's magic! So look around for toys or outfits you think your partner would like and email them to him. Say "I was thinking I could order this for when you get back. What do you think?" He'll love that you're thinking of him that way and will definitely want to give helpful input.
3. Email each other on the schedule that works for you. For some people, this is a few times a day. For some people, it's once every few days. But even a quick "I did your laundry and I was thinking of you. Hope you're having a good day." will make your partner smile.
Finally, for those of you who are working with a long-distance loved one, here are a few things to do to pass the time better:
1. Be selfish. While X is gone, I binge watch shows he hates. I order the pizza he doesn't like. I stay up later than he likes and I sleep in later than he can. I indulge in Me Time because I can. If you think of ways to treat yourself, it isn't as bad.
2. Schedule time to see people. You have friends. Go out and see them. Ask them to come over. If you have friends who aren't in common with your love one's, so much the better. For example, this week, I'm having a big knitting night, where friends are coming over for dinner and knitting together. It's the kind of thing X would get out of the way of. But he's not here. So girls night abounds!
3. Schedule activities. It is far too easy to let inertia take control of you and to sit at home, watching TV, all night, every night, while your loved one is gone. Find activities. Go out to dinner with friends. Go to a movie. Go play on a playground. Go visit the library and read in public. Go to Starbucks and people watch. Find a club of people who like the same things you do and try it out. For me, I'm committing to going to the gym for a couple hours twice a week. It'll keep me active and working towards my health goals while keeping me distracted from my loneliness. It's a win-win!
4. Do something to surprise him when he gets back. For me, that's cleaning. Our house is a pit. But he loves to come home to a clean room. Note I said a clean "room" and not a clean "house." Cleaning a whole house is daunting, but even cleaning just one room can make a huge difference. If you don't live with your loved one, there are still things you can do. Make him cookies. Knit him a hat. Buy him a new movie. And then you can tease him with an "I have a surprise for you" that he can look forward to the whole time he's gone.
And remember, it's okay to be sad that your loved one is away from you. You love him. It makes sense that you miss him. But at least for X, he's away trying to do a job. He doesn't need me pining over him constantly and distracting him from the job he's trying to do. I tell him I miss him in an email once a day or so, then I get on with my life. If I feel the need to dither on, I talk to a friend or a journal. But keep the crazy off of your partner. Remember, it's hard for him too. Make it a little easier by staying upbeat and positive for him so he knows what a joy he's coming back to.
Tuesday, October 20, 2015
Review: Leather Strappings with D Rings
Recently X and I added Leather Strappings with D Rings to our toybox. We've only used them once so far, but here's what we think: they're great. We got two 2 foot, two 4 foot, and two 7 foot, all in 1.5 inch width. When we used them, we had X lie on his front with his hands at his sides. I used the 7 footers to go around his biceps and wrist/hip area, then the 4 footers to go around his knees and his ankles.
They're really easy to use. Basically if you can use a D ring belt, you can use these straps. If you don't know how to use a D ring belt, watch this SFW tutorial. You do have to pull them really tight because they'll loosen up just a little bit (but not too much) as your sub struggles. It's basically impossible to pull them TOO tight, so go wild.
X enjoyed the restraint for about a half an hour while I scratched his back and paddled him. Once I/we got bored with it, it was a simple process to get him out of it. They coil up for ease of storage and ease of retrieval.
I wouldn't call them a staple just yet, but if you're not experienced with ropes, I'd say they're definitely good tools to add to your toybox. Insta-bondage. Love it.
They're really easy to use. Basically if you can use a D ring belt, you can use these straps. If you don't know how to use a D ring belt, watch this SFW tutorial. You do have to pull them really tight because they'll loosen up just a little bit (but not too much) as your sub struggles. It's basically impossible to pull them TOO tight, so go wild.
X enjoyed the restraint for about a half an hour while I scratched his back and paddled him. Once I/we got bored with it, it was a simple process to get him out of it. They coil up for ease of storage and ease of retrieval.
I wouldn't call them a staple just yet, but if you're not experienced with ropes, I'd say they're definitely good tools to add to your toybox. Insta-bondage. Love it.
Wednesday, October 7, 2015
Menage a moi, anyone?
Menage a moi is my oh-so-fancy term for masturbation (menage a trois, but single...okay, I think it's funny and I matter). MAM is an important part of any partnership. I hear you - you ask me, why do we need masturbation if I have a partner? Here are some good reasons to include MAM in your sex life, partner or no.
In no particular order:
1. Your partner will not always be available or in the mood. MAM means you can satisfy your own needs and keep yourself happy.
2. You can learn what you like so you can teach your partner how to do it. Nothing is hotter than an informed partner and you can't trust your partner to know exactly what you want and need unless you teach him.
3. It can be a way to warm yourself up. If your partner is interested and you're not in the mood, one way to get in the mood is to start pushing your favorite buttons.
4. It's a safe way to experiment with techniques and toys before asking your partner to try them. If you want to try, say, being spanked, but you're not sure if you'd like it, try giving yourself a little swat and see how you like it. It's a lot better to try it yourself and have the chance to see what you think before your partner goes full hog on your ass.
And a few tips for getting the most out of it:
1. Give yourself time to play. There's a time and a place for just getting an orgasm as fast as possible, but there's also a time and a place for really enjoying your self-pleasure. Don't be afraid to take a good long time to play around and see what you like.
2. Try different positions. Lie on your front and see how that feels. Try kneeling on all fours. Try it on your back. See what you like.
3. Don't get frustrated if you don't get there. Sometimes you're just not in the mood no matter what you do - and that's okay! Learn what you can from the experience and move on with your day.
4. Don't just go for the junk. Try stroking your butt, your neck, your chest. Play with your nipples. You have two hands and it's okay to use them in different places.
5. Don't be afraid to get into it. Make noises. Get loud. Move your hips. Thrust. Really enjoy yourself. It's your time - get into it!
Furthermore, your partner may find it hot to watch you or to listen to you in MAM. What we like to do is to get X tied up, blindfolded, and gagged, and then I go to town on myself. It's absolute torture for him. He gets all riled up and super excited listening to me and feeling the vibrations of my movement next to him, but he can't do anything. He loves it. I keep going until I get bored and then I go work on him. It works for us.
Note for the ladies out there: the clitoris and the G-spot are very real things that can rock your world. If you're not familiar with them, look up where they are on the internet (or comment and I'll look it up for you) and enjoy!
If you've ever been interested in anal, but haven't tried it yet, MAM is the perfect time to try it out. There will be a long post on anal later, but if you do want to try it, use your finger and just see what happens. If you're worried about it being "gross" you can either (a) use a condom or (b) try it in the shower or bath.
Have fun!
In no particular order:
1. Your partner will not always be available or in the mood. MAM means you can satisfy your own needs and keep yourself happy.
2. You can learn what you like so you can teach your partner how to do it. Nothing is hotter than an informed partner and you can't trust your partner to know exactly what you want and need unless you teach him.
3. It can be a way to warm yourself up. If your partner is interested and you're not in the mood, one way to get in the mood is to start pushing your favorite buttons.
4. It's a safe way to experiment with techniques and toys before asking your partner to try them. If you want to try, say, being spanked, but you're not sure if you'd like it, try giving yourself a little swat and see how you like it. It's a lot better to try it yourself and have the chance to see what you think before your partner goes full hog on your ass.
And a few tips for getting the most out of it:
1. Give yourself time to play. There's a time and a place for just getting an orgasm as fast as possible, but there's also a time and a place for really enjoying your self-pleasure. Don't be afraid to take a good long time to play around and see what you like.
2. Try different positions. Lie on your front and see how that feels. Try kneeling on all fours. Try it on your back. See what you like.
3. Don't get frustrated if you don't get there. Sometimes you're just not in the mood no matter what you do - and that's okay! Learn what you can from the experience and move on with your day.
4. Don't just go for the junk. Try stroking your butt, your neck, your chest. Play with your nipples. You have two hands and it's okay to use them in different places.
5. Don't be afraid to get into it. Make noises. Get loud. Move your hips. Thrust. Really enjoy yourself. It's your time - get into it!
Furthermore, your partner may find it hot to watch you or to listen to you in MAM. What we like to do is to get X tied up, blindfolded, and gagged, and then I go to town on myself. It's absolute torture for him. He gets all riled up and super excited listening to me and feeling the vibrations of my movement next to him, but he can't do anything. He loves it. I keep going until I get bored and then I go work on him. It works for us.
Note for the ladies out there: the clitoris and the G-spot are very real things that can rock your world. If you're not familiar with them, look up where they are on the internet (or comment and I'll look it up for you) and enjoy!
If you've ever been interested in anal, but haven't tried it yet, MAM is the perfect time to try it out. There will be a long post on anal later, but if you do want to try it, use your finger and just see what happens. If you're worried about it being "gross" you can either (a) use a condom or (b) try it in the shower or bath.
Have fun!
Sunday, October 4, 2015
New Toy!
X and I were talking and we decided to add a new set of tools to our toybox. We bought these straps. Essentially, they're leather straps with D rings on the ends. We bought them in three separate lengths with 1.5 inch width.
What will we use them for? Lots of things! But the big thing we want to start doing is to start hogtying X. I'm terrible with rope, so this seemed like the easiest way to get him bound up. We'll us them for ankles, knees, thighs, wrists, elbows, possibly biceps, and then a strap to link the whole thing together. I'll report back and let you know how they work with my first review!
What will we use them for? Lots of things! But the big thing we want to start doing is to start hogtying X. I'm terrible with rope, so this seemed like the easiest way to get him bound up. We'll us them for ankles, knees, thighs, wrists, elbows, possibly biceps, and then a strap to link the whole thing together. I'll report back and let you know how they work with my first review!
Thursday, October 1, 2015
Article: Safe Words in Mainstream Culture
Offbeat Home did an article on how safe words can be used in mainstream culture. Check it out!
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