Menage a moi is my oh-so-fancy term for masturbation (menage a trois, but single...okay, I think it's funny and I matter). MAM is an important part of any partnership. I hear you - you ask me, why do we need masturbation if I have a partner? Here are some good reasons to include MAM in your sex life, partner or no.
In no particular order:
1. Your partner will not always be available or in the mood. MAM means you can satisfy your own needs and keep yourself happy.
2. You can learn what you like so you can teach your partner how to do it. Nothing is hotter than an informed partner and you can't trust your partner to know exactly what you want and need unless you teach him.
3. It can be a way to warm yourself up. If your partner is interested and you're not in the mood, one way to get in the mood is to start pushing your favorite buttons.
4. It's a safe way to experiment with techniques and toys before asking your partner to try them. If you want to try, say, being spanked, but you're not sure if you'd like it, try giving yourself a little swat and see how you like it. It's a lot better to try it yourself and have the chance to see what you think before your partner goes full hog on your ass.
And a few tips for getting the most out of it:
1. Give yourself time to play. There's a time and a place for just getting an orgasm as fast as possible, but there's also a time and a place for really enjoying your self-pleasure. Don't be afraid to take a good long time to play around and see what you like.
2. Try different positions. Lie on your front and see how that feels. Try kneeling on all fours. Try it on your back. See what you like.
3. Don't get frustrated if you don't get there. Sometimes you're just not in the mood no matter what you do - and that's okay! Learn what you can from the experience and move on with your day.
4. Don't just go for the junk. Try stroking your butt, your neck, your chest. Play with your nipples. You have two hands and it's okay to use them in different places.
5. Don't be afraid to get into it. Make noises. Get loud. Move your hips. Thrust. Really enjoy yourself. It's your time - get into it!
Furthermore, your partner may find it hot to watch you or to listen to you in MAM. What we like to do is to get X tied up, blindfolded, and gagged, and then I go to town on myself. It's absolute torture for him. He gets all riled up and super excited listening to me and feeling the vibrations of my movement next to him, but he can't do anything. He loves it. I keep going until I get bored and then I go work on him. It works for us.
Note for the ladies out there: the clitoris and the G-spot are very real things that can rock your world. If you're not familiar with them, look up where they are on the internet (or comment and I'll look it up for you) and enjoy!
If you've ever been interested in anal, but haven't tried it yet, MAM is the perfect time to try it out. There will be a long post on anal later, but if you do want to try it, use your finger and just see what happens. If you're worried about it being "gross" you can either (a) use a condom or (b) try it in the shower or bath.